Self Doubt

Physical health is getting all the new year attention. It’s the easy part of working on yourself… there’s a laid out plan and a calendar to follow. Mental health is where the real work is… there is no guide. For me, the two are very closely connected and they are both something I work on daily.

Today I want to tell you about a takeaway from another favorite chapter of mine from “13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do” by Amy Morin. (I also shared more from this book when I wrote about perfectionism).

Chapter 4 is all about self doubt. I love how the author includes a checklist of questions in every chapter….I checked most of the boxes for this one. I have no idea why self doubt is such a thing for me. But I’m guessing since there’s a whole chapter on it, there are many people out there that experience my same feelings. 

I’m someone that prefers to play it safe- I need to be sure of things.  I’m a rule follower and I hate doing things outside of my comfort zone. If there’s a possibility that I could fail, no thanks. I’m a true enneagram 1. I laughed this week when my mom said, “Yea, I think you were my most serious baby.” LOL- I’m not surprised!

When you are a self- doubter, it creeps into your life in very small and big ways…

-Should I raise my hand and share my answer? No, what if I’m not 100% right? (A feeling I vividly remember having from elementary school all the way through grad school). 

 -Should I do this grad school thing? No, what if I can’t keep up with the workload? What if I fail? (I only ended up doing this because of how much I was encouraged by others). 

-Should I start a blog? No, even though you’ve wanted to do this for years, no one will care what you have to say- there’s already too many blogs out there. (I made this happen because of the continued gentle nudging from my older sister). 

These negative conversations we have in our head can really hold us back.

One of my favorite parts of this chapter is when Morin suggests reviewing the worst case scenario for something you are doubting. What is the actual worst thing that could happen? 

I recently asked myself this when deciding to become an online health & fitness coach. I said no to the opportunity for months. But when I finally walked myself through the worst case scenario, it wasn’t that bad…

What’s the worst case scenario if I decide to coach? 

-People will be annoyed by me. (If people are bothered by me, they don’t have to follow me. I’m doing this to find the people it will help).

-No one will join with me (I’ll still be working on my own health & getting a great discount).

-People won’t understand why I’m doing something different. (My life choices aren’t about other people … it’s ok to evolve and be in a new season).

-I’ll have to post on social media to share what I’m doing. (Totally doing that already, it just might look a little different). 

Then I decided to consider the best case scenario… 

I help at least 1 person change their life through health changes & a fitness routine. 

So I decided to say yes to something that fulfills me because those worst case scenarios were lame reasons to say no. The best case scenario is what I’m in it for.

I hope you’ll reflect today on how self doubt could be playing a role in keeping you from reaching a goal. Jot down those worst case scenarios and you’ll likely realize it’s not as terrifying as you think. 

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